A Legacy of Grief or a Legacy of Joy: My Battle with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

18 September 2018
There is fury and despair beneath the surface of my soul and it will get out if one more thing goes wrong.

And it always does.

I am afraid. I am sad. I am no one. I am nothing.

battling postpartum depression and anxiety as a first time mom

These phrases were on repeat in my head during my pregnancy, and they slithered into the first few months of Anna's life, robbing me of joy. Robbing me of all the hopes and ideas and stories I dreamt of whispering to her.

I lived this way for over a year.

For over a year, I smiled and nodded through finding out I was pregnant, quitting my job, moving, and navigating a new city.

For over a year, I smiled and nodded when people asked how I was doing.

But bubbling under the surface were lies, fears, and paranoia. They took over me, distorting my thoughts away from what was good.

DIY Book Page Art - How to Print on Book Pages

14 September 2018
DIY Book Page Wall Art - How to Print on Book Pages

I love a good gallery wall, don't you? Whether we own our house or are renting an apartment, I always have at least one gallery wall going on which means I need a lot of unique wall decor to mix and match depending on the layout and needs of a room.

how to make book page art prints

A couple of years ago, I made these quick book page art pieces to fill in a few gaps for a gallery wall and they've been such an easy, neutral addition to any room.

This project is SO EASY. No need for photoshop. You can do this DIY project in Microsoft Word for the cost of some printer ink, a picture frame, and a few ripped book pages.

How to Find Joy in your Morning Routine with a Baby

29 August 2018
In my mind I can see the mother I want to be and when I wake in the morning, she is not there.

I am exhausted. Everything aches and I am resenting my daughter for needing me. I am jealous of my husband who gets to drive to work in silence. I am bitter from the memory of mornings spent in solitude and hot coffee.

I am not a morning person.

young woman drinking coffee and working on laptop

But the moment I entered motherhood, I was called to something greater and this morning grouch was not the woman my husband and daughter deserved.

In my selfishness, God met me through the giving heart of my husband who makes me breakfast everyday and tells me to forget the dishes when the baby naps and do something I find fulfilling.

So with my husband's lead, I set out to create a structured routine for my mornings. After all, our bedtime routine with the baby works so well, even the dog knows all the steps.

I wanted to see if it was possible to have a morning routine that not only fulfilled my personal needs, but also pushed me to find order and peace at the start of my day. 

I found myself in need of the mental energy to manage the house, devote time to my daughter, and pursue a project. 

So I asked myself: What is it about my mornings that leave me zapped before 9AM hits?

Here's what wasn't working:

  • I wasn't showering until Anna's first nap
  • The kitchen was left in a disaster until noon
  • I wasn't spending time in God's word
  • No time to myself

Once I saw the pain points, I made a list of five solutions I wanted to achieve in the morning that could help alleviate some of those problems.

Those 5 solutions were:

1. Eat breakfast as a family
2. Read a devotional
3. Listen to a podcast
4. Unload the dishwasher
5. Get out of the house

I found that I was already doing some of those things. We were already eating breakfast together and when we moved into our rental home, I started going for walks with Anna every morning. All I had to do was figure out where I could fit the rest in.

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